Decoding the Dating Game
So, I had an e-mail from Yahoo saying that my profile on Yahoo Personals was about to expire (umm, you know that one I put out there while drinking one evening 6 years ago...yeah, that one). So, anyway, I decided to check out what the population of available men was like in Overland Park, KS.
Ummm...I'm scared. It's scary how many men think it's appropriate to take pictures of themselves in their wifebeater undershirts and publish them in a public manner. It's scary how many seperated men are already back in the saddle. It's scary how many men have no preference what-so-ever what the woman is like as long as she's thin. There is a readily available supply of Christian Conservatives and Yoga hippies available should I decide to give up my personality or go to the dark side.
I also remembered that there is a fair bit of code used in personal ads. For example:
"I'm looking for an open-minded girl" means "I want to have sex on the first date and if you're not that open minded, don't waste my time..."
"I work in academia/research" means "I make virtually no money and you will need to support me"
"I work in transportation" means "I'm a trucker and I have a woman in 10 different cities across the US, you'll be number 11."
"Salary range: Any" means "I want you to think I don't want you to judge me for how much I earn and...umm...I only earn $25,000 a year so I'll need you to support me."
"I'm a full-time party guy" means "I'm a full-time party guy and I'll show up drunk at your house at 4am just to get some."
Now that I've posted this post, I'm sure the men in KC will just be lining up for me...
Ummm...I'm scared. It's scary how many men think it's appropriate to take pictures of themselves in their wifebeater undershirts and publish them in a public manner. It's scary how many seperated men are already back in the saddle. It's scary how many men have no preference what-so-ever what the woman is like as long as she's thin. There is a readily available supply of Christian Conservatives and Yoga hippies available should I decide to give up my personality or go to the dark side.
I also remembered that there is a fair bit of code used in personal ads. For example:
"I'm looking for an open-minded girl" means "I want to have sex on the first date and if you're not that open minded, don't waste my time..."
"I work in academia/research" means "I make virtually no money and you will need to support me"
"I work in transportation" means "I'm a trucker and I have a woman in 10 different cities across the US, you'll be number 11."
"Salary range: Any" means "I want you to think I don't want you to judge me for how much I earn and...umm...I only earn $25,000 a year so I'll need you to support me."
"I'm a full-time party guy" means "I'm a full-time party guy and I'll show up drunk at your house at 4am just to get some."
Now that I've posted this post, I'm sure the men in KC will just be lining up for me...
posted by Gwen @ 10:36 PM
3 Comments:
At 8:45 AM,
Unknown said…
Sorry for that gene pool to choose from. But don't knock Christian Conservatives, we're really a nice bunch. And deep down we are still sinners, so not all of us are real straight laced.
I am so glad I am not in the dating game anymore. I was happy to leave that world behind. I threaten my husband that if he ever divorces me I will kill him. I do not want to be back in the pool ever again. Best wishes on your move.
At 10:47 AM,
Beth said…
Gwen, Gwen, Gwen. Have I taught you nothing? ;) I gave up completely on the whole internet dating thing; they really are the dregs of society. I had my own "single girl" moment yesterday. I had to return some music to the Bach Society so after class I booked over there and also brough some eclairs to share. The director told me that I could get a man pretty easily if I kept this up, "If you want one, that is." ???? I explained that I was 33 and it hadn't worked yet, but I'd "keep on cooking."
At 8:29 PM,
Anonymous said…
I love the comments and your translations of the dating ads! Too funny, but sadly, too true as well. Maybe a new state will be better than what the 'Lou has to offer.
It's been a while since I last checked your blog...love the green on the Baby Albert - looks very boy worthy, and not at all girly. The star buttons are a great touch, too.
And, congrats on the new apartment!
Hope to see you Sunday!
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